Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Popsicles in the Shower

I got back from the gym today and wanted to have a popsicle because I have a sore throat and being at the gym makes me want popsicles. I have a bunch of those push up kind in the clear plastic in my freezer so I pulled off a grape one. While I started eating, I started feeling sweaty and icky, so decided to take a shower. I figured I'd just take the popsicle in with me. In college my roommate Michelle used to like to drink beers in the shower because of the contrast between the cold beer and the warm shower. The popsicle in the shower was the bet thing ever!! I am totally doing it all the time now!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Enough Already!!

So I've had a crappy couple of days.

Friday I acquired a dent in my car in the exact spot that I just had fixed over Christmas break from a snow bank. Can you believe that? Snow dented my car.

Saturday I ripped off part of my finger nail and it gushed blood and hurt a crap load.

I don't think anything happened yesterday except that it was snowy and yucky out.

Today, I got a flat tire.

So I did what any girl that's having a bad day should do.

I bought shoes.

Actually I bought two pairs of shoes, a coat, a skirt, and green fudge. When I was in college whenever one of us was having a bad day, we would shop. Which is probably not the best way to deal with frustration but it worked. If we were lucky, the import store would be on campus and we could go talk to the scary import store lady about her fiance from Guatemala and her estranged husband that she used to sleep on a futon with and also leave with really cute jewelry made by little South American kids....I miss the scary import store lady.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

It's About Time

My apartment complex finally got around to plowing my parking lot yesterday...only a week after the storm. I actually called to complain about it and they said it was their priority to get the sidewalks shoveled first. I said that's great, but when I have to traverse 15 feet of frozen tundra to get to my sidewalk, I could care less....I guess they listened. I also threatened they my 70 year old neighbor might slip and break her hip.

Monday, February 19, 2007

The Case of the Poisonous Peanut Butter

Doesn't that sound like an Encyclopedia Brown book? I used to love Encyclopedia Brown.

My mom: I had to throw out two jars of peanut butter that were in the lot that might have salmonella in it.
Me: Did grandma call you to tell you about that? (Side note: Back during the whole contaminated spinach episode my grandma called my mom to tell her not to eat spinach...I was left to fend for myself)
My mom: No, I read it in the paper.
Me: You read it in the paper?!?! (Side note: my mom avoids all type of news including TV, radio and newspaper.)
My mom: Luckily it was on the back of sports section.

And that's my mom for you!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

My Newest Craft Project

My mom bought me a whole bunch of mosaic crafty stuff...because that's what my mom does. I tried to make this set of four coasters last weekend, but found out that the shitty kit didn't come with enough pink glass for four. I had to wait till I could go buy more pink glass (which was yesterday), but they came out ok.

Also today, not to be outdone by the guy that fell off the treadmill yesterday, Danielle got attacked by a balloon and has a huge gash on her forehead.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Funniest Thing Since the Danielle/Recliner Incident
Last night at the gym I saw the funniest thing since the Danielle/recliner incident. It could've been tragic but luckily the guy wasn't hurt so I have a right to laugh about it. See the figures below. It's hard to make a stick figure running, so use your imagination.

I actually only saw Figures 2 and 3, so what actually happened in between figure 1 and 2 can only be left up to your imagination. After crashing against the fence (I'm not sure why there is a fence in my gym, but there is) the guy stepped back onto the sides of the treadmill (the treadmill was still moving) looked at it like it was posessed. Turned it off, put on his glasses and walked away. No one that worked at the gym actually cared to investigate what the banging and metal crunching sound was from.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


I thought I liked it because I've had off the past two days, but really I hate it. I guess it's really the mixture of ice and snow together that I hate. After spending two hours trying to dig my car out and get it backed out of a parking space. That time was full of spinning wheels, the smell of burning rubber and flying cardboard of death. Also, anyone that says to use kitty litter for traction is smoking crack. It just makes little bits of kitty litter fly at 20 miles per hour, and spraying whoever is not driving like shrapnel. Well the car is out now, and I feel somewhat satisfied and actually think I kinda enjoyed the process. Thanks Amanda for helping...and for drinko!

Since my message to the Harrisburg superintendent seemed to work, I'm sending out another message to someone. Dear inept apartment complex plow guy, I know you plowed the rest of my apartment complex, but in case you didn't notice, you forgot to plow my parking area. Get on that right away. Thanks.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Please, Please, Please

This message is to the superintendant of the Harrisburg Area School District....just go ahead and cancel school for tomorrow. You know you want to. All the school districts around you are closed as well as all the Catholic schools in Harrisburg. I know you are just doing this to toy with me and make me get up tomorrow at the usual time and watch the news only to see that it is closed and not be able to go back to sleep. I'm begging you. I like to sleep in.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Random Household Hint

Since living on my own, I have tried out several basic household tips. Some from my mom and some from the Internet. I've decided to share some of my favorites with you.

This one is more of a personal care thing. Mix a little baking soda with your shampoo before using it on your hair. I love this tip. I have a lot of hair and this makes it nice and shiny and soft. I'm hoping to Locks for Love about 10 inches of it as soon as I find a trustworthy hair dresser in the area.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Who's Wedding Is It Anyway

I really like the show Who's Wedding Is It Anyway on the Style Network. But this morning when I was watching, I knew the one couple that was getting married was not going to last. The bride was just too much of a bitch. The hair dresser that was supposed to help her called off the day before because she was such a bitch to him when they did the run through. I really want a follow up program like they do on some of the medical shows. At the end of the show, they sometimes say "Joe has fully recovered and enjoys spending time with his kids" or something like that. I want something that says "A year after their wedding, Matt cheated with his secretary and Lily burned all his clothes in the driveway."

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Signing Day

Notre Dame landed a recruit named Golden Tate...how badass of a name is that!
Psychotic Thought of the Week

I know I haven't had one of these in a while but I had one yesterday so I had to post it. During my aquacise class, a guy was fixing the lights in the pool. I'm not talking about just changing a light bulb. The whole light apparatus was out of the pool with wires hanging down into the pool. Someone asked "you're sure that the breaker for those is turned off, right?" And I thought, I could be electricuted during my aquacise class and my wet lifeless body would be discovered in a swim suit....and not even a nice swim suit (cause it is aquacise after all). How horrifying would that be? Then I looked over at the 50 year old 300 pound woman beside me. I guess its all relative.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I Totally Rock at My Job

Today, at our staff meeting, we were informed that by April 1st, each of us needed to be 93% to goal. I decided to find out exactly what this meant for me. So after some basic math, I discover that as of today-February 7- I am at 93% to goal. I think I'll submit a request to have off the next two months since I completely rock!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

A Message From the Marketing Major In Me

I love the Super Bowl. The sports fan in me loves the game and the marketing major in me loves the ads. Did anyone happen to catch the ad rankings in USA Today. That stupid ad with the crabs and the beer in the cooler got the best rankings. That's such crap!! There were so many ads that were better than that one. Any thoughts?

Monday, February 05, 2007

The Baby Shower, cont.

More news on the girl that I haven't seen since high school that invited me to her babyshower. Apparently, she has invited over 100 people including every woman that was at her wedding. If this isn't a ploy for free gifts, I don't know what is. I'm not going. I'll RSVP that I'm not going, but she won't get a gift from me.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Thank God!

We can finally stop hearing about how Peyton "can't win the big game"! Now its onto the inconsistency of Rex Grossman. Did anyone else see that Cirque de Soleil thing at pregame? What was that all about?

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Day Has Officially Come

I'm officially bored telling about my vacation. So here's a recap of the rest.

The next day we went to the beach where I decided that a law needed to be passed restricting certain types of people from wearing bikinis in public.

Women should not wear bikinis if:
A) They are over 3 months pregnant
B) weigh more than 175 lbs (can be a sliding scale based on height)
C) are over the age of 65
D) have had a recent major surgical procedure to the abdominal region leaving a discfiguring scar

Men should not wear speedos unless they are training to compete in a triathlon or other competitive swimming event.

We also rode the water rides that day and the world's only water elevator (not nearly as cool as it sounds).

That evening we went to dinner with my mom's cousin and my second cousin. I was dreading this because I have not a) gotten married, b) had a baby, c) been promtoed in the recent past. Luckily my second cousin is still "finding herself" with her third try at college...made me look like a real winner.

The next day we went to Lahaina to go shopping because my grandmother needed a gift for all 9 of her grandchildren (those are only the ones under 18). The lava rocks she had collected from the beach wasn't going to do, but apparently a deck of cards would...oohh...cards!

Then my dad and I went whale watching. We saw a competition pack of whales just beating the crap out of each other. Apparently some times the whales even lay on each others blow holes, so they can't breath. Ruthless!! However it mostly looked like a bunch of splashing.

Then we were heading into dock and we saw splashing out in the distance. We rushed out there and saw a mom and baby whale jumping. The mom would jump and then the baby whale would jump. Then the mom would tail slap and the baby would tail slap. This is a picture of the mom and baby whale waving to us.

The next day was more beach and nothing really happened except that I got a little sloshed at the open bar that evening. Like to the point where you can still walk and talk coherently, but your cheeks and fingertips are numb.

The next day we left which was another bucket of hell. We had a lay over in Kona and we got on the plane and taxied out and came back because some light said that the cargo area was open. It wasn't, but it took like an hour to check. The best part about it though was that my dad had taken a sleeping pill as soon as he was on the plane, so when all the stopping and starting was going on he was babbling incoherently and trying to kiss my mom. He also ate a thing of fig newtons which he would later not remember and kept staying "did I miss the snacks? why haven't they brought drinks yet? did I miss the snacks?"

We left Hawaii at 3:30 pm on Saturday and arrived in Harrisburg at 1:30 pm on Sunday. Bucket of hell!!