Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Things that Annoy Me

People that put regular trash in the recycling bins. I'm thinking of reporting them to my apartment rental office. (and have them thrown in recycling jail).

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Psychotic Thought of the Day (or Night)

I'm watching David Letterman right now and have decided that I really really want to become friends with Anne Hathaway.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Happy Anniversary, Tucson!

Danielle got this e-mail recently and we both thought it was weird and kinda funny so I'll pass it along.

"Dear Tucson:"Happy Anniversary" from your friends at Harrisburg Hyundai!I hope you and your owner Danielle are getting along well and that Danielle is taking good care of you. If you have any bumps and scratches, aches or pains, just come in and see us. We are here to care for you. As always if there is anything I can do, please call me at Harrisburg Hyundai at 717-558-0900.I hope you and your owner have an excellent day!"

I wonder who else Danielle's car is receiving e-mail from without her knowing!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Family Camping Fun

This weekend I was invited by my Uncle Bill to go camping as a celebration for my cousin Patrick's 16th Birthday. First of all, let me say, that wasn't really camping. Yes, there was a campfire and S'mores and all that fun stuff, but the "cottages" that the boys were staying in had air conditioning, a refrigerator, bathroom and flat screen TV. (I like how there is a picture of the air conditioning unit in that link.) The girl's cabin was down the road a little bit and also had air conditioning, but no bathroom (Gasp!) The bathhouse was about 100 yards away, so it wasn't bad at all.

When I said I would go, I didn't really know who all would be there. I was a little surprised. Are you ready for the attendance list? Have a pen and paper ready? My Uncle Bill, his 4 kids, Bill's soon to be third wife Jane and her two kids, my cousin Brian and his wife Heidi and their 3 kids and 3 of my cousin Michelle's kids (the ones that aren't in jail.) Then for the icing on the cake of the weekend, Patrick's mom, Lisa (my uncle's first wife) and her husband Michael. That was just a little bizarre since up till about two year's ago, we were pretty much told to ignore that Lisa had ever existed. Imagine my face when the car pulled up with Jane driving and Lisa in the passenger's seat. One big happy family outing.

It was pretty fun. We went swimming in a pool with a water slide which was ok and mostly involved kids climbing on my back and asking me to pull them around/throw them/dunk them. It was a little tiring. We had hot dogs and hamburgers for supper. Then some adult time to drink wine coolers and discuss how messed up the rest of our family is/what is up with Jane's kids, etc while the kids were mini golfing and at a dance party at the pool. During this serious discussion, at one point my cousin Heidi was standing on a picnic table singing Push It. For those of you that know Heidi, its probably not that surprising. That was only after one wine cooler too. The kids got a ride back to camp in the back of Michael's pick up truck and were pulled over by a security guard in a golf cart who said "I should arrest you...and I can."

That night we celebrated Patrick's birthday. He opened presents, we had a cake that Heidi had brought...she's the cake queen. We made S'mores and then it was time to head to bed where in the girl's cabin we played a riveting game of "Do you want to buy a duck?" ("A what?" "A duck"). And I learned interesting facts from the pre-teen girls like all sea cucumbers do is move and poop and heard stories about the girl that "had her intestines sucked out of her butt by the swimming pool filter" which to my shock turned out to be true.

A very fun weekend of family bonding.

Friday, July 20, 2007


This post is in honor of this weekend's College Football Hall of Fame Enshrinement Festival. For those of you that don't know, I used to work at the College Football Hall of Fame, so I think this is hilarious...but I'm pretty sure its hilarious even if you didn't work there. Enjoy!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I Hate My Washer

My washer is leaking again. Not as much as before...just a slow drip underneath, so this will make the sixth (?) time that the maintenance guy will be here to fix it. I think that he's secretly stealing little things, but I just haven't realized it yet and sabotaging my washer while fixing the previous problem so that he can come and steal some more.

On a happy note, my apartment office gives out free ice cream on Fridays and that's tomorrow.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

An Impromptu Sleepover

Yesterday, my 11 year old cousin Aubrey and 7 year old cousin Sierra asked if they could sleepover. I thought for a second, realized I really had no plans for the weekend and in a moment of foolish weakness agreed that they could come. What I did not think about was that it was only about noon, so I would also be asked to spend the entire day with them.

We decided to go play miniature golf and pass some of the time. The guy at the miniature golf place suggested I get the family pass for myself and my daughters and I freaked out. I became even more freaked out when I realized that actually physically possible. Then we enjoyed a wonderful game of miniature golf (I totally dominated!). If you've never played mini golf with a 7 year old that has never played before, I strongly suggest it (she said sarcastically).

Then we went to Indian Echo Caverns which is getting a huge plug because they let me in for free since I am a tour guide alumnus. It was ok and the tour guide wasn't a complete moron, so that's always a plus. But the one mistake I made was letting Aubrey take control of my digital camera which means I have 50 pictures that look exactly like this.

We had fun but the sleepover did confirm one thing that I had already had an inkling of...I am nowhere near ready to have a kid of my own. There's just too much "I spilled something", "I broke something", "I'm on my fifth piece of pizza", "I left your front door hang wide open" (this happened twice), "I'm drinking soda out of one of your martini glasses", "I have a stomach ache", "I can't sleep because I think people are trying to get in your door", "I'm just going to spontaneously start shrieking for no reason at all", "I'm going to put my face right up against yours when you are sleeping", "I'm going to turn on your broken laptop in your bedroom and you won't know its on until 6 hours later when you're in bed and hear the fan running", "I'm going to dig through your purse and screw around with your cell phone so that you now have lots of random pictures on it", and my personal favorite "I just spilled rice krispies down the side of your stove where you have no hope of cleaning it up and can only hope it won't make your whole apartment smell like spoiled milk."

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Wanted: Penn State vs. Notre Dame tickets

Just in case anyone has them laying around, I would gladly take them off your hands and possibly make a reasonable trade for them such as signing over my first born. As you can imagine, I did not receive them through the alumni lottery...but I did find out that I have Navy tickets next to the Naval cadet section. Priceless.

Monday, July 09, 2007

My Bloomsburg University Experience

Today I had a meeting for work at Bloomsburg University. My first hint that something was awry was the fact that they had Masterlocks on the toilet paper in their bathrooms. Who knew that toilet paper theft wsa such a problem!!

Then we went to the dining hall. The first issue was that the glasses were like little juice glasses. I could drink it in one sip. I've had shots larger than that. Then the person infront of me requested both macaroni and cheese and a sloppy joe. "You can't have two entrees." The Nazi cafeteria lady said. Seriously, these ladies would make the strict ND card swiper ladies look like grandmas. So then the girl behind me requested tater tots. "We don't have any" "well, are you going to get any more?" Shrug. Thanks...that's helpful. By the way, the only other "non-entree" offer was carrots...yum.

Then at the end of the meal, a bunch of ladies I was with got ice cream cones and were about to carry it out, when they were stopped and told they had to finish them in the dining hall. Because five 30+ year old ladies with ice cream cones is evil. Next people will just be taking fruit out like its a grocery store or something. Ridiculous!

Saturday, July 07, 2007


Today I'm going to a 4th of July/my grandma's birthday picnic at my Uncle Bill's and I always ask if I can bring anything because now that I'm an adult and not a loser like some of my cousins that's what is expected. He always responds with something like "just bring a smile." So I decided to make edible dirt for the kids because I love gummy worms. I could eat all of it myself.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

My Weird Dream

I had kinda a weird dream last night. I was back in college and had just moved back after summer break. All my friends from college were there. When I woke up the first day and went to change to go to the d-hall, I realized that none of my clothes matched. I had a whole suitcase full of stuff and nothing would go together. What does that mean in the whole dream scheme of things? There was also lots of other weird stuff that happened during my dream something about the FedEx man or something...I'm not really sure.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

It's 1:30 and Still No Water

At 7:30 this morning, my phone rang. It was Sis, the old lady downstairs (and also the owner of the steering wheel sweater) just letting me know that we didn't have running water...uh, thanks. When I woke up at 9, I turned on the TV and didn't see anything about 100,000 customers without water or any of that nonsense, so I called the water company. They let me know that water had been shut off due to a water mane break and I should get service back "at any moment." Does at any moment mean four and a half plus hours later? It doesn't to me. So I packed up shower stuff when I went to the gym and on the way thought maybe I'd check out what was going on. I saw three guys in bright orange shirts standing around a hole in the street scratching their heads and looking puzzled. When I returned from the gym, getting lunch and going grocery shopping, I saw pretty much the same thing. GRRR. It kinda puts a kink in my plan to do laundry and to wash my dishes.