Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Letters From Prison (Edition 2)

As I said, I had a request for another edition of letters from prison from my cousin. I will put my comments again in {}. and I will skip over the boring parts. Though all the random jumping around is not me cutting out parts, that's actually how she is writing though most of it is in response to stuff I wrote her.

"You'll have to tell me what you did for Easter, and did eat lots of ham? I could really use some ham right now {and by ham I mean meth}. Well, I do have a radio, but I can't listen to it now because I'm in the hole {ha...she said she's in the hole} but when I get out May 25th {holy crap, you must've done something really shitty to be thrown in there for that long. Did you shank someone? Please let me believe you shanked someone} I'll be able too."

"Did Danielle ever go to college? {yes, but not a 'real' school..jk danielle} Remember that restaurant that was like all shark meat? {uh, no} I still want to go there really bad and to Captain Franks. I really miss going to NC every year {and too bad you don't know we're going back this summer and you can't go cause you're in jail} I'm gonna do that with my family in the future. Isn't Japan in China? {Oh, I'm sorry, that is incorrect, but we have some lovely parting gifts for you.}"

"So how is Molly and Aubrey doing? {those are our other cousins, just to fill you in} I bet they're getting big {they're like 15 and 13. I like how she says they must be getting big like they're 2 months old}. I can't believe how time is flying {yep, time flies when you're in prison} I still feel like I'm 16 {because I don't have my driver's license yet...side note: she's 21}. I wish I could go back to that age I'd do a lot of things different {well, I'd hope so}. I learned a lot since then {obviously not proper verb tenses}."

"I was thinking maybe I'll have to get {steal} a MP3 player or IPOD so I can just download ALL my music instead of worring {yes, she put worring} about burning CDs! Plus I'm so out of date with all that stuff I'm like gramma haha. I don't even know the differance between a IPOD and a MP3 player? And I really want to get {steal} a Wii when I come home to exercise and play games. {oh so many snide comments. so little space}"

"I was wondering if you have any spare time can ya look up somethings {yes, no space there} for me on the Internet? {not a chance in hell} If you can, here's what I'd like: {wow, a colon!} I'm looking for a school in the surrounding PA States (WV,VA,MD,DE,Ohio,RI or PHG) {good job with the state abbreviations until we got to Ohio and what the hell is PHG} that has photography chorse {I think this is supposed to be course} I can take and campus living? and if they don't have any in them areas then anywhere will be fine! and give me about top 3 schools with name, address, location, how long, how much...{someone's getting a little demanding aren't they?} So I can write to them and ask them to send me there info because you can't have Internet printouts here. And I'd like to go stright there after I get out of jail cause I need to further my education {did the fact that you thought Japan was in China tip you off to that} and I think I'd really enjoy photography and won't have to worry about my felonys getting in the way! {really? you think some photo studio is going to just give you thousand dollar photography equipment...or do you just think you're just going to snap a bunch of random pictures and put together a coffee table book.} Please do this for me, thank you so much! {no} as soon as possible will be great! {as soon as never will be better} Do you have an Internet camera that you can print pictures? I want to get {steal} that camera that Ashton Kucher always advertise's! {good to see those marketing people are earning their money. Though I'm not sure young felons was the niche they were going for} Well, I can't wait to hear back from ya! {ditto}"

No comments: